Adoption. When asked if one would ever consider adopting, most people I know have said, “Sure, I’d be open to that.” Let’s be honest…if your response was “no, I’d never adopt a child in need”, you kind of sound like a jerk, so there’s that bit of pressure. And no, I don’t think you are a jerk if you were to reply ‘no’ – there a plenty of legit reasons that one should not adopt.

Really though, I think those of us who say sure are being honest, but for me, the sure kinda feels like saying, “Sure, I’d be open to skydiving”. It’s easy to say sure. But then there you are standing at the edge of the plane thousands of feet in the air and the guy says, “JUMP!”….are you still sure? Did you just pee a little? I probably did. When push comes to shove….

Sipping my latte, people in the coffee shop waltzed by me while I sat in my chair fixated on the adoption packet I was reading. This is becoming more real. 

Do you have a race preference? What about age? Domestic or International adoption? What about foster to adopt programs? Are you open to a child with special medical needs? What is your average annual income? If you fall in this range, this is an estimate of what adoption may cost…

Lots of questions. Lots of things to ponder. And lots of money. Much more than I expected.


When you have a baby from your own womb, most families pay their deductible and then insurance covers the rest. I’m just wondering where in tarnation (insert grandpa’s texan twang) is the adoption insurance folks? 

I know that foster to adopt programs are more affordable. I also know there is a huge need for families to foster children. I have the utmost admiration for those who are doing this very thing. We are praying over this possibility, but emotionally I wonder if I could be strong enough…strong enough to let my child go back to their biological family if the system decided so before legal adoption could take place. 

I just want to be a mom. I want Manbeast and I to have the opportunity to be a mom and dad and pour into our children and love them and snuggle them and teach them and disciple them and then reverse roles and have them take care of us when our dentures are falling out, ya know? I want to embarrass them by being weird parents. I want to fulfill all my unfulfilled dreams of stardom and turn our daughters into the next Wilson Phillips ;). I want us to parent our children in such a way that they understand their Heavenly Father’s love for them cause they experienced His love through us. And because they know Him, they keep bringing the kingdom of God down onto the earth for others to see and take hold.

As I read through my first adoption packet today, I felt many things. It felt kind of strange. It felt kind of exciting. It felt kind of overwhelming. By reading about adoption, am I giving up on conceiving naturally? No. But it is a step towards something different and new and challenging. When I saw the pictures of some of the adopted children now with their new home, I felt thrilled and my heart stirred to think of us taking a picture like that one day. Then the practical side of me saw the roadblocks, and the excitement waned. 

Ready to jump? I don’t know. We don’t know.


I’ve been reading a wonderful book called “Adopted for Life” by Russell D. Moore. It’s beautiful and I am learning a lot. I think this summer is going to be one of learning, seeking, and praying. The desire to have biological children has not waned in the least bit, but adoption has been more on the radar as of late. As these long sunny summer days meander by, I figure it will be a good time to think, ask, and listen. 

And most importantly, “Hold on for one more day. Things will go your way. Hold on for one more day” – thank you Wilson Phillips.